This year, started off on the wrong things that seemed completely correct at the time. Last year seemed to trigger a lot of these very irrational actions on this person who always thought deeply about things and actually felt was calming down…then change, after change.I dont recognize me anymore.
In just a year i,
*found a passion for writing…just about anything it seemed.
*discovered my actual parentage. It was diastrous! Changed every little perspective i had on life.I wanted to be the only person on earth then. But i was not given that liberty.
*I met this ‘friend’ who at first was kind and friendly beyond belief.. and then turned two faced!. This monstrous being, then turned eveything into a huge mess in my life.
*and right after that i found the perfect partner for life. He had the complete opposite effect on me to the person mentioned above.
*last year also made me deal with the absence of my comrades who left the island for their own battles. Nothing i ever did was fun enough without them.
*I went against my basic laws i had for myself…and fell in love! I didnt expect that the least. I didnt even believe in love for heavens sake! I was thinking it was anything but …love.But this guy was just magic! He was just perfect. He found pleasure in the most bizarre things i did. He liked to watch me eat! Funny right.And he would succumb to every need of mine. The most reasonable, rational person i had ever met.He spolit me rotten.But i loved it.
*And i let him go.The only regret i will ever have. My parents were not pleased with the guy. Torn betwen parents and the guy both whom i loved more than anything. I chose parents.*crosses fingers* Hope that would work out, for me.
*Now, with only a few more weeks till i tie the knot. Im pretty sure that marriage is the most difficult thing i am ever gonna do.The whole concept of living in with a guy. His habits , my habits..would they collide? Would i have to make a lot of changes in my habits? They are never ending.
A very good friend asked me to stop and look for myself..but i dont think the person i used to know is there anymore. There are so many changes i dont know where to begin.
Messaiah, you wanted me to write it all down..here it is. I hope it helps me aswell.
I wont forget though, that all this had me goining through a rocky phase which led m to attempt insane things like
* Smoking both tobacco, and grass. The former i found complelety useless for me, but the latter was funny, not good but funny. brought a lot of laughs ( literally):)
*had my first kiss.
*found good friends.
*crossed the road twice with my eyes closed. that was awesome!
*went to the Borella cymetary for the first time. I felt like i was stepping into a different time era.
*My friend gave me the best time during the dawn of the New Year. Thank you.